This post has definitely been a long time coming. I’ve been thinking about what I can write about during my time in isolation and what I can do to cheer myself up, make time pass and most importantly- keep sane!
I’ve always had a strange view on life. Sometimes optimist, sometimes pessimist; it varies on the topic. With regards to RA, I’ve always sat somewhat in between. Some things I see as positive, some negative, but I can always normally see both sides.
I think I’ve done quite well so far. At first I joked to my friends that I’d have gone mad by week 2, now here we are, week 4, still quite calm and collected… Who’d have thought it?
I’m seeing lots of things on social media about people being scared to leave their houses, people thinking “I won’t get it so I’ll go out” and all sorts in between. By now, I’m sure everyone knows I’m passionate about the NHS (Maybe a little too passionate sometimes!). Purely because without it, I couldn’t live a relatively normal life. I’ve always been ‘laid back’ and now is no different. At first, I refused to accept what was happening. I wanted to be at work, I wanted to be out of the house and I desperately wanted to see my friends. I don’t like being stuck inside at the best of times, but now is different.
I have friends and family working in the NHS and other key worker roles and I burst with pride with what they are doing right now. I’d absolutely love to be out there, getting groceries for people, helping people out, volunteering because it’s just the kind of person I am. I love being able to make a difference and now is no different. The hardest thing about this whole ordeal is knowing that if I was ‘normal’ I could go out and do that and make the difference. But instead I’m stuck inside for around 7 more weeks whilst this all blows over. I want to be at work, I want to be seeing my friends and I’m lucky enough to not know anyone suffering from coronavirus so in a bizarre way it still doesn’t seem real! I’ve had the scary letter, I know the advice and I know what my doctors, consultants and health team have recommended, yet it still doesn’t seem real.
I’m so thankful to have things to keep me going and distracted. Uni work (and a whole lot of it), making plans, watching tv shows (shout out to Tenable and The Chase aka best shows on telly) and baking. Thinking of new things to cook, how I can adapt and change recipes or how to try something completely new is keeping me sane. I’m having much more me time, reading, chilling, napping when I want. I’ve actually found the whole thing quite uplifting. It’s almost like I needed a break and didn’t know about it. It’s so wholesome seeing people on reddit, Twitter and other social networks come together for a cause and back it in any way they can. I’m speaking with friends more, we’re all checking in with each other, making plans for afterwards and genuinely just appreciating each other so much more than before.
Dedicating this paragraph to my wonderful friends. This whole ordeal has shown me how much I adore the bones of each and every one of them, how I never showed them enough love before and how I wished I’d made more of an effort to see them more often. It’s shown me how much they care about me too, thinking about me and protecting me in any way they can. Cheering me up and making me smile in the different ways only they can. It has shown me life is about more than uni and work. It’s about keeping happy, enjoying myself and doing the things I love. I wouldn’t be getting through this without my friends checking in on me and me annoying them over my little trivial issues (sorry guys, love you!). This is my promise to them I will never take them for granted and when they ask me to meet them or do something I will never refuse again (well, within reason).
In short, coronavirus lockdown has taught me not to take stuff for granted. Never to take sitting in the sun at a coffee shop, beer garden or back garden of my friends house for granted. I miss these little things so much. Impromptu dinner dates or random unplanned trips out. We’re all apart yet somehow it feels like we’re all together. So yes, I may have caught tonsillitis whilst being stuck indoors and I may have a long way to go in isolation yet, but things could be so much worse. So for now I’m just thankful for health and grateful for life.
Read books. Watch TV. Play games. Chat to friends. FaceTime friends and family. Bake. Do that DIY project. Tidy that old box you’ve been meaning to for years. Take a long, hot, soapy bath. Sunbathe. Listen to your favourite music. Just be happy. We can’t control what’s happening. We can’t stop the spread of this disease overnight. What we can do is be united in isolation and help each other get through this together. Yes, it’s scary. At one point I didn’t want to leave the house and I was terrified of seeing people outside of my house to the point where I didn’t even want to go in the garden. I’ve not seen the inside of a shop in nearly 6 weeks and I thought that would drive me insane. Things could be worse, a LOT worse. All my friends and family are healthy and alive and for that I’m utterly grateful.
Keep strong, keep going it will all be over soon enough. Just think of that first coffee in the coffee shop, the first burger in McDonalds or the first time back out into normality. And when it’s all over, it will all be a bittersweet memory of how we were part of history.
fightingrablog 